One thing I noticed was that the entire piece followed a format. Each stanza had six or eight lines, and the end of each second line rhymed. This is often a great poetic tool, but if I had to give some advice, I would say try experimenting with less rhymes, or deviations in the line structure. Of course, that isn't to say that such structures are bad in any way. Shakespearean Sonnets are all 14 lines and follow iambic pentameter and specific rhyme structures. I love rhymes, but the sentences need to flow, too, or else the poem will sound forced.
My favorite part of the poem was the different metaphors you used. I feel like I can learn a lot from the way you use metaphors to describe different aspects of love.
Hi Anzar, thank you for taking the time to read the poem and analyzing it in such depth. I truly appreciate you take the time to critique it. I will definitely keep your notes in mind for the future. I will be release more poems in the coming days.
Hi Niraj! Gosh.. this is so beautiful, i really love it, i love this kind of poem, i’m looking forward if we could connect love, this is so well written! Amazing!!
Hi Naayy, thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I have also written a poem called ‘Someone Shall Come Along’, which is also on the theme of love. However, the difference is, it is from a perspective of a young girl hoping for someone special to come in her life. So it is written with a different tone and language. But in case, that poem interests you, since it is also on a similar theme, please feel free to check it out. Regards.
I've been reading some of your poems, and I'm genuinely impressed. You have a gift for capturing emotions and moments in a way that feels both personal and universal. Looking forward to reading more of your work. ❤️
Hi Swetha, thank you so much for reading my poems and I truly appreciate the specificity in your about the personal and universality. That means a lot to me. I will work hard to continue to entertain you with my poems. Regards.
I loved how you used nature in this poem. I'm really drawn to the message that you have portrayed through the poem. Keep writing! I would love to hear more
Hi Amisha! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and sharing your thoughts on it with me. It helps me understand if a particular poem is working or not. So your message means a lot. I am working on a new poem that will be out soon. I hope to continue to entertain you with my poems. Regards.
The forest stanza does something the other two don't — it actually invites the other person in, even while warning them. "Please do commence" is vulnerability dressed as a disclaimer. To your question: I think trust earns the deeper layers, but pretending the forest isn't there from the start tends to backfire. People sense what's being hidden before they can name it.
Hi Jacob! I am so happy that you picked up on the "Please do commence" part. When I was writing the third paragraph, I felt that it wasn't clear what the person wanted after sharing this vulnerability in the first two paragraphs, and so that's why I added that part. Once I wrote that line, I was happy with where the poem overall was going. When I wrote the first two paragraphs, the objective of the poem was still slightly fuzzy in my head. That line helped me clarify the overall thought for myself.
I really like how you said that trust needs to be earned. That shows that the other person is an equal participant in it. Also, I agree with you that even if the other person can't quite pinpoint, they can feel that there is something hidden.
Hi Ipsha, I am so glad you liked it! Yes, I love using nature as well in creative writing. Hope to continue to entertain you with future poems and reflections.
Hi Seraphina, I see what you mean. I was interested in learning what others think about this. That's why I thought I would put the question out. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing it! I will definitely check it out. I saw you have written about the film archives of India! That’s something I am very passionate to read out. I love that you write about things that no one really talks about!
This hit hard because its very real and honest, and I too find myself in that person. Maybe we all do.. IDK.
To answer your question, I say mention short comings early on. So you don't waste nobody's time. Some short comings are just not acceptable for some.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I absolutely love reading what others feel about a topic. I learn a lot from it.
Anytime 😊
I love nature imagery and this poem certainly painted a lovely picture. It reminds me of one of my favourite scriptures: “Love is large.”
Thank you so much Claudia! I’m so glad you liked the nature imagery. :)
I loved the themes of this poem!
One thing I noticed was that the entire piece followed a format. Each stanza had six or eight lines, and the end of each second line rhymed. This is often a great poetic tool, but if I had to give some advice, I would say try experimenting with less rhymes, or deviations in the line structure. Of course, that isn't to say that such structures are bad in any way. Shakespearean Sonnets are all 14 lines and follow iambic pentameter and specific rhyme structures. I love rhymes, but the sentences need to flow, too, or else the poem will sound forced.
My favorite part of the poem was the different metaphors you used. I feel like I can learn a lot from the way you use metaphors to describe different aspects of love.
Thanks so much for writing this!
Hi Anzar, thank you for taking the time to read the poem and analyzing it in such depth. I truly appreciate you take the time to critique it. I will definitely keep your notes in mind for the future. I will be release more poems in the coming days.
Hi Niraj! Gosh.. this is so beautiful, i really love it, i love this kind of poem, i’m looking forward if we could connect love, this is so well written! Amazing!!
Hi Naayy, thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I have also written a poem called ‘Someone Shall Come Along’, which is also on the theme of love. However, the difference is, it is from a perspective of a young girl hoping for someone special to come in her life. So it is written with a different tone and language. But in case, that poem interests you, since it is also on a similar theme, please feel free to check it out. Regards.
I've been reading some of your poems, and I'm genuinely impressed. You have a gift for capturing emotions and moments in a way that feels both personal and universal. Looking forward to reading more of your work. ❤️
Hi Swetha, thank you so much for reading my poems and I truly appreciate the specificity in your about the personal and universality. That means a lot to me. I will work hard to continue to entertain you with my poems. Regards.
Thank you 😊
impressive poem!! loved reading it.
Hi Maryam, I am so glad you liked it. I hope to entertain you more with my future poems.
I loved how you used nature in this poem. I'm really drawn to the message that you have portrayed through the poem. Keep writing! I would love to hear more
Hi Amisha! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and sharing your thoughts on it with me. It helps me understand if a particular poem is working or not. So your message means a lot. I am working on a new poem that will be out soon. I hope to continue to entertain you with my poems. Regards.
this was a wonderful read! thanks for sharing
Thank you, Catherine! I hope to bring out more work soon and entertain you!
What a great poem, I really, really loved it.
Hi Late Night Notebook! Thank you so much for the compliment! I look forward to continue to entertain you with future poems!
Thank you so much:)
Really loved to reading it , thanks for sharing!!
Personally, I think trust needs to be built first before opening up about your shortcomings, it makes the vulnerability feel safer.
Thank you for sharing that. You make a good point. Safety before vulnerability. I really like that thought.
The forest stanza does something the other two don't — it actually invites the other person in, even while warning them. "Please do commence" is vulnerability dressed as a disclaimer. To your question: I think trust earns the deeper layers, but pretending the forest isn't there from the start tends to backfire. People sense what's being hidden before they can name it.
Hi Jacob! I am so happy that you picked up on the "Please do commence" part. When I was writing the third paragraph, I felt that it wasn't clear what the person wanted after sharing this vulnerability in the first two paragraphs, and so that's why I added that part. Once I wrote that line, I was happy with where the poem overall was going. When I wrote the first two paragraphs, the objective of the poem was still slightly fuzzy in my head. That line helped me clarify the overall thought for myself.
I really like how you said that trust needs to be earned. That shows that the other person is an equal participant in it. Also, I agree with you that even if the other person can't quite pinpoint, they can feel that there is something hidden.
Some poems are read, and some are felt. This was definitely felt. ❤️
Thank you, Dr. Haina! I am so happy to read that you felt my writing! I hope to continue to entertain you with my poems!
Thank you, wishing you the best ✨
This is so good will come back to read more of your work :) also big fan of seas oceans and rivers🫠🫠
Hi Ipsha, I am so glad you liked it! Yes, I love using nature as well in creative writing. Hope to continue to entertain you with future poems and reflections.
Looking forward to read your writings :)
I love reading poems and I think this was a really good one that hit quite deep
Hi ForgetMeNot123, I am so glad to know that it you found it relatable. Warm regards.
Open up at the beginning. Trust can be destroyed when you don't open about about youself. The other person deserve to know the real you.
Hi Seraphina, I see what you mean. I was interested in learning what others think about this. That's why I thought I would put the question out. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
You are welcome
This is sooooo amazinggg!!!!!! Never ever stop writing!
Hi Shubhavi! Thank you so much for your encouragement! I write to entertain the readers. So your message means a lot to me! Thank you!!
Welcome! Please have a look at my profile too...I have written on things that nobody really talks about
Thank you for sharing it! I will definitely check it out. I saw you have written about the film archives of India! That’s something I am very passionate to read out. I love that you write about things that no one really talks about!